What do you want to be when you grow up?

I'm going to a high school graduation party this weekend. I have to chuckle because it feels like a lifetime ago when I was graduating high school. It's such an exciting time, yet you feel so unsure about what you want to do for the rest of your life. You have to ask yourself the cliche question, "What do I want to be when I grow up?" You know what? I'm still asking myself that question.

I like my career choice, but at the same time, I feel like something is missing? Is this normal? Does everyone feel this way, or is this a sign that I should make a career change? I really enjoy marketing and communications, but I've always had this yearning to go into teaching. The thought of going back to school seems so exciting yet daunting. It would be exciting to go back into the classroom. I would definitely have a new perspective and a greater appreciation for learning. On the other hand, the thought of financing another degree, and spending time away from My Little Man seems like such a selfish act that I don't want to put my family through that. My family and I would have to sacrifice so much that I'm not sure it's worth it.

This leaves me with accepting the status quo and making the most out of it. Perhaps I can revisit it in a few years. Although, I think I said this a few years ago. Hmm. Well, Que Sera Sera.

Flexibility in the Workplace

I have a job where I work part-time. It's the perfect arrangement for me because I keep my career moving forward (or at least not moving backward), contribute income to my household, and still have time to devote to My Little Man (MLM). In my line of work, working full time translates to 50+ hours of work at times. I knew I didn't want that, so I was able to make this arrangement. I'm not the only one.

According to a new book entitled Womenomics, women are gaining more power in the workplace. Consider these statistics from the book:

A 19-year Pepperdine University survey of Fortune 500 companies showed that those with the best record of promoting women outperformed the competition by anywhere from 41 to 116 percent.

Women control 85 percent of household spending.

Females are earning more college and advanced degrees

With this new-found power, companies and women alike are developing flexible work options to accommodate the once unachievable work-life balance. Employers are realizing that they cannot afford to lose female talent, and women are realizing that they can't do it all 100 percent of the time. What's more, it's not just women reaping the benefits of flex-time. Stay-at-home dads and even younger men are seeking out these arrangements. This is a win-win arrangement. Employers are getting smart, talented women who are thinking outside the box and the women are happy. Happy employees = productive employees. This focus group of one can report that I feel more focused and productive when I'm not overloaded. I'm also a lot more inclined to be flexible and go the extra mile when I know my employer is happy to reciprocate.

As Sam Cooke said, "A Change Is Gonna Come" and we can thank ourselves for shepherding that change through corporate America on our terms.

To Blame or Not To Blame

Okay, so I'm guilty. I sometimes use my motherhood as an excuse for everything under the sun.

I forget the milk when it was the one thing I went to the store to buy = "It's that mommy brain".

My house is mess = "I can't get a single chore done with My Little Man running around like a lunatic".

My clothes have stains on them = "Who can afford new clothes with the cost of childcare and diapers".

My butt is getting bigger = "my figure just isn't what it used to be before I had a baby".

Now, while there are hints of truths in all of these statements, it's also true that I can be a real space cadet, I hate doing laundry and filing paperwork, and I'm an utter slob, always spilling food on myself (also refer back to my last point about laundry). Lastly, I hate the gym and am eating guacamole and chips while I write this post. THERE. I said it. My Little Man (MLM)is not to (fully) blame for all my short (or wide) comings.

MLM might make it a lot harder to get things done right, but he's not the only reason. I'm not that much different from when before I had him. I'm officially taking ownership of my life and plan to get myself straightened out...right after I finish my chips that is. :)

Can't Hang Like Before

Some of our couple friends don't have children yet, and although we are all still very close, there are major differences in our lifestyles. For one, my girlfriend who just turned 30 wanted us to meet up with them for some drinks....at 9:30 p.m. The hubby and I had to have a cup of coffee around 8 to jolt ourselves awake since we're normally in our pajamas by that time. We're so sad. For two, we met up at this swanky bar and restaurant complete with a live band and fireplaces. It was beautiful, but again, us cash-strapped parents were thinking about how we're probably drinking away our babysitter's paycheck. Lastly, our recovery today was slow and painful, starting bright and early at 6 am and followed by a long day stuck inside with My Little Man on a rainy Saturday.

We had such a good time, and it's good to have friends who can drag you out of the house to have some adult-only fun. However, our worlds apart will force us to ration our adult-only fun until a time far, far away when the kiddies can watch themselves.

I'm sure a lot of moms and dads experience this with their single friends. I guess the sign of a great friendship is one that can put these differences aside and last the test of time...and children.

Still No Peanut Butter

I took My Little Man (MLM) to his 18-month wellness visit this week. No shots this time--WooHoo. We had the usual weigh in and general measurements taken. My son is solidly in the 55th percentile for weight and 85th percentile for height. Frankly, I was amazed his weight percentile wasn't higher, because my son would eat all day if I let him. He's got the chunkiest legs and this big Budda belly. Oh, did I mention his cheeks? Those are very chubby too.

Beyond that, the other thing I was most shocked by was that the American Pediatrics Association recommends holding off on introducing peanuts/peanut butter until age three...THREE? That seems so old to me. I was sort of looking forward to giving him some PB sandwiches soon, but it's a no go. Of course, she told me that other parents choose not to follow this recommendation, but I've always been a stickler for the rules. I feel compelled to follow them, especially when it's suppose to benefit his health. Ugh. Well, I'll probably keep him away from peanut food for a while.

Maybe one day I'll learn how to break the rules.

Mommy Bloggers: Power in Numbers

I came across this Ad Age story, Inside The Mommy Blogger Business at work--I work in the marketing sector. I was very excited to hear how mommy blogging continues to shift the minds of today's consumer brands.

In this report, you'll hear some compelling statistics, such as there are roughly 8 million female bloggers, a large subset of that being moms. That's a whole lotta mamas speaking their mind. While mommy bloggers tend not to have the most lucrative and trafficked blogs, the sheer volume of us is turning heads in corporate offices around the world.

In following other mommy bloggers, I find their posts entertaining, relevant, and smart. More importantly, it's a way for me to connect with like-minded women. It's in our nature. We are social creatures and we want to share our stories, and support each other. We embody word-of-mouth, and for a marketer, that is music to the ears.

When we find a product or service we love, we want to shout it to the rooftops. Conversely, when we find one we loathe, we want to shout even louder. Consumer brands are smart to engage mommy bloggers in their marketing and public relations plans. Those mommy bloggers who remain authentic and transparent to their audiences can write from the heart about products they truly love. It's a win-win-win situation for the blogger, her readers, and the brand. So, to all the mommy bloggers out there: Blog On!!

Feeling Accomplished

There are some days where I want to feel accomplished in my life and my career. I ask myself questions like "where do I want to be in five years or ten years?" I look for ways to move my career ahead, while keeping balance in my home life. I go through our financial situation, to ensure we are saving enough, paying our bills, and have enough to get some desperately needed furniture.

However, there are days like today, when the most mundane tasks make me feel very accomplished. I have gotten My Little Man (MLM), who just turned 18 months yesterday, up, dressed, and fed. I read him a few books, played a bunch of silly games, and even watched a new Baby Einstein video where we learned how to Sign critical words like "eat", "play", "sleep", "milk", and "drink". These will hopefully make our daily communications a little easier.

I changed his sheets, and ran a load of his clothes. I took him for a walk to the supermarket, picked up some groceries for the week, walked back home with him, put dinner together in the crock-pot, cleaned up the kitchen, and I did it all before lunchtime.

I'm so excited. I can't stop smiling. MLM is napping. I'm rewarding myself with a second cup of coffee, and some Web surfing time. The hubby is getting some work done right now. The best part about this, is that I'm still raring to go. I think we're going to hit some stores, pick up some new plants for the front of the house and plant them.

I hope I keep this momentum going. Otherwise, I'm going to crash and burn. But it won't matter because I'm officially feeling accomplished. :)

So Conflicted

I feel like a broken record sometimes. My Little Man (MLM) exhausts me as much as he thrills me. I often find myself looking forward to his naps and bedtimes, so I can get a break but then I feel utterly guilty for not wanting to spend every moment with him.

He makes me so happy that it makes me want to have another baby because I just want this feeling to continue. I still have so much love to give. Then, I stop myself, because I feel so overwhelmed at times, so tired, so frustrated, so unsure of my ability as a mother. I know my hubby feels the same way.

We have to find the energy, strength, money, time, and space before having another child. The only things I know we have plenty of is support and love. So, as long as we have that, I think that we could find the rest for a clan of children.

I think the biggest thing I need to find is my own confidence--confidence that I am a good mom and that I'm doing a good job. This might be harder to find, but I'll consider it a work in progress.

Use Your Words

I find myself saying this to My Little Man (MLM) a lot these days. He's at this challenging age where he understands me perfectly, but not so much the other way around. He grunts, moans, points, and gets easily frustrated these days which, in turn, frustrates me.

Sometimes he's pointing in some vague direction and moaning like a zombie. I have no idea what he wants. I tell him to use his words and tell mommy what he wants. He stares at me like I'm nuts and breaks into a louder moan at that point.

I've tried to get him to use sign language but he hasn't grasped them yet. That might be for the best though because I'm fairly certain that the signs I come up with aren't official ASL signs but they get the point across.

Oh well, I guess I'll just have to be patient and wait. Of course, when the day comes when he's spouting every little demand of his to me, I'm sure I'll be reminiscing about these good old "non-speaking" days.

I guess the grass is always greener. :)

The Kinship I Feel for the Women of Darfur

I was listening to an NPR report about the inhumanities happening against women in Darfur. It made my stomach churn. In a report among women who fled Darfur into Chad, the researches told accounts of how these women are brutally raped and, in turn, ostracized from their own families for being victims of these acts. Ironically, many of these women continue to face violence and rape to the hands of soldiers and men in Chad--a place where they go for refuge.

One of the stories was about a group of women in a village, working with their babies swaddled across them. The soldiers made these women unravel the babies from their bodies. They would shoot and kill the baby if it was a boy. If the baby was a girl, they'd throw the baby to the ground, and 'if' the baby survived, the mother was allowed to pick her up and go along her way. My heart sunk to my stomach as I thought of what I would have done in that situation. It is beyond my comprehension to conceive of how a mother could recover from watching helplessly, as some monster pointlessly kills her child.

This was only one of the horrible stories heard by these reporters. I could not find the podcast of this story on NPR, but I did find an article about it on Yahoo.

I am a world apart from these women and the autrosities they face daily, feeling utterly helpless to stop this mass-scale violence. Yet I feel such a kinship for them and their children. It makes one feel so blessed and also guilty for living such a priviledged life. I just hope that all of the aid, efforts, and activism aimed at stopping this violence begins to penetrate what seems to be an endless cycle of violence and inhumanities.